Friday, March 8, 2019

Best Funny Quotes Only For You / Memesvsquotes.online

Are you searching for funny quotes that make your day? If yes then here you get 100's of best funny quotes that help you to feel good and here you got funny quotes with different topics like funny quotes about minion, about life, about lazy people and many more... check out.

Laugh until your belly hurts and then just a bit more!

Funny Quotes 

Topis on which this post is based on -
  • Funny Quotes
  • Funny Quotes About Life 
  • Minion Funny Quotes
  • Saying Funny Quotes
  • Funny Quotes For Laugh
  • Jokes Funny Quotes
  • Lazy Funny Quotes 
  • Extremely Funny Quotes 

Best Funny Quotes

Best funny quotes
Funny Quotes
  1. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. 
  2. Zombies eat brains. You're safe. 
  3. Brains are awesome I wish everybody had one.
  4. Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.
  5. The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake.
  6. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
  7. Some peoples are like clouds. When they disappear, it's a beautiful day.
  8. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
  9. It's always funny listening to someone lies when you already know the truth.
  10. Next time a stranger talks to me when I am alone, I will just look at him shocked and just whisper quietly "you can see me?".
  11. I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones ... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.
  12. I am not a vegetarian because I love animal; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."
  13. You are only as good as your last haircut.
  14. If someone calls you 'ugly' have a good comeback and say 'excuse me, I am not a mirror'.
  15. I'm actually not funny. I'm just mean and people think I'm joking.
  16. Happiness is ... not having to set the alarm for the next day.
  17. TEACHER - "Why are you talking during my lesson?" STUDENT - "Why are you teaching during my conversation?"
  18. Me? Mature??! Ha! I still laugh when the ketchup bottle "Farts"!
  19. Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minutes jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing ar all the joggers. 
  20. You have not experienced true fear until a poster falls down in the middle of the night.

Funny Quotes About Life 

Funny quotes about life
Funny Quotes About Life 
  1. The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love.
  2. I walk around like everything is fine, But deep down, Inside my shoe, My sock is sliding off. 
  3. No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
  4. We Are always best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up ... after I finish laughing. 
  5. Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat or play with it, Just pee on it and walk away.
  6. Life was much easier when apple and blackberry were just fruits.
  7. Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. 
  8. A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
  9. I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.
  10. Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, You're drunk.
  11. Life doesn't have ay hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
  12. Can I help you? No, I just waited in line for 30 minutes to say hi.
  13. I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I'm still looking for ideas.
  14. Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.
  15. Did you know "DIET" stands for - Did I Eat That?
  16. If at first, you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
  17. Dieting is easy. It's like riding a bike. And the bike's on fire and the ground's on fire. And everything is on fire because you are in hell.
  18. Not To drink But I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
  19. I can't dance to save my life but when I step in dog shit, I can moonwalk better than Michael Jackson.
  20. During the day I don't believe in ghosts. At night I become a bit more open-minded.

Minion Funny Quotes 

Minions Funny Quotes
Minion Funny Quotes 
  1. My friends think he's smart. He said onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut on his face.
  2. My phone's low battery warning is the only warning I take seriously.
  3. Of course, I talk to my self. Sometimes I need expert advice.
  4. Dear Lord, All I ask is for a  chance to prove that winning the lottery won't make me a bad person!
  5. I don't have to worry about getting kidnapped, they would bring me back in less than an hour!!
  6. Wi-Fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.
  7. Don't change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you. Unless you're an asshole. Then you should change.
  8. Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think... Oh, shit its the cops!
  9. If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.
  10. When killing them with kindness doesn't work, try a baseball bat. results may vary.
  11. If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her so anything.
  12. I don't have an attitude problem. I just have a personality you can't handle!

Saying Funny Quotes 

Saying funny quotes
Saying Funny Quotes 
  1. Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
  2. All my life I thought the air was free.. Until I bought a bag of chips.
  3. I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.
  4. I may look like I'm having deep thought but 99% of the time I'm thinking about what I'm going to eat later.
  5. I'm not shy, I'm holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you.
  6. Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you. Now I have to change my whole text.
  7. I'm not lazy. I'm just on my energy saving mode.
  8. being unique is better than being perfect.
  9. If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.
  10. Always remember... Rumors are carried by haters, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots.
  11. "Did you just fall?" ... "No. I attacked the floor." ... "Backwards?" ... "I'm freaking talented!"
  12. Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs rin and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED.
  13. After Tuesday, even the calendar goes WTF.
  14. We all have that one as a friend who always gives the best relationship advice but is still single.
  15. I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know just to be sure.
  16. I'm pretty sure if I smacked the stupid out of you there wouldn't be anything left!!!
  17. Love me *** Hate me ... Just don't label me.
  18. What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing "k" instead of "ok"?
  19. Common sense is so rare these days It should be considered a superpower.
  20. Rumors! I found out so much about myself that I didn't even know!

Funny Quotes For Laugh

Funny Quotes For Laugh
Funny Quotes For Laugh 
  1. The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.
  2. Never laugh at your wife's choice. You are one of them...:)
  3. Funniest thing in a class: Teacher cracks a jock. No one laughs.
  4. How normal people flirt "Hey Sexy" ... How I flirt "If you were a witch.. you'd be a good witch."
  5. I'm going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
  6. If no one sees you eating chips, it doesn't contain any calories.
  7. Our phone fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
  8. I'm the kind of crazy You weren't warned about because No one knew this level existed.
  9. LAUGHTER will always be the best medicine ... SILENCE will always be the best revenge ... LOVE will always be all you need.
  10. I hate it when people are at your house and ask 'Do you have a washroom?' No, we pee in the yard.
  11. I've met some pricks in my time, But you my friend, are the fuc*ing cactus.
  12. Sometimes I laugh so hard the tears run down my leg.
  13. Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can't laugh at yourself, call me ... I'll laugh at you.
  14. ThinksSunday should be 48 hours instead of the usual 24, So we have more time to prepare for Monday!
  15. To laugh at yourself is to love yourself.

Jokes Funny Quotes 

Jocks Funny Quotes
Jokes Funny Quotes 
  1. Man and wife were watching a boxing match in which a boxer knocked out int he first round. MAN SAY, "Very boring, it was all over 1-minute" WIFE REPLIES, "Now you know how I feel?"
  2. I hate when people see me at the supermarket & they are like: "Hey what are you doing here?" and I'm just like: "Oh you know hunting elephants".
  3. The good girl is found in every corner of the earth. But unfortunately, the earth is round.
  4. Dear Heart, please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood that's it.
  5. Ever looked at your ex and wondered "Was I drunk the entire relationship?'
  6. When people see you lying down, with your eyes closed they still ask: "Are you sleeping?" "No, I'm training to die".
  7. I hate it when I'm singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.
  8. Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny.
  9. My entire life can be summed up in one sentence ... "Well, that doesn't fucking go as planned.
  10. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.
  11. I laugh at my own text before I send them because I'm that damn funny.
  12. If her bra matches her panties when you take off her clothes, it wasn't you who decided to have sex.

Lazy Funny Quotes 

Lazy Funny Quotes
Lazy Funny Quotes 
  1. Lazy rule: Can't reach it. Don't need it.
  2. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. 
  3. When I text you a massive paragraph and you reply 40 minutes later with 'k' ... Are you asking to be punched?
  4. My mind is like my internet browser. At least 19 open tabs 3 of them are frozen and I have no clue where the music is coming from.
  5. I don't always do the wrong things, but when I do, it's the wrong'est of all the wrongs that ever wronged.
  6. I try to be a nice person but sometimes my mouth doesn't want to cooperate!
  7. My brain says "Let's do something exciting today". My body says "Don't listen to that fool".
  8. If you can't convince them, just confuse them.
  9. Do you want to make money from Facebook? It's easy. Just go to your account setting, Deactivate your account, and go to work!
  10. I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.

Extremely Funny Quotes 

Extremely Funny Quotes
Extremely Funny Quotes 
  1. Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you!
  2. If someone points at your back clothes and asks, whose funeral it is, you just look around the room, and answer, "haven't decided yet".
  3. People think I'm shy because I don't talk or participate too much in conversations ... The truth is don't really give a fuck what they're talking about.
  4. When you fall in love with someone's personality everything about them becomes beautiful.
Previous Post
Next Post

post written by:

0 comments: